MISCONCEPTIONS- Depression vs Attention seeker

"Onome! this your attitude of constantly seeking validation from others is sickening. What is it with your recent posts about being depressed on Facebook?"

"Aunty, i'm not seeking validation, i really am depressed and I've got a whole lot running through my mind lately. You know what I just went through"

"well, to me, you are just being a big baby who's pleasure comes from attention seeking. Everyone experiences a heart break. You won't be the first. You were just stupid enough to give your all to a man. Wake up!"

"Aunty please stop it. I am not an attention seeker."  Onome snapped

Aunty ejiro looked baffled. "Did you just shout at me?"

"i....m so...rry.. i've been edgy lately"

"Edgy? Over What? A man, are you okay?

"You won't understand Aunty" Onome replied sharply.

"Anyway, the only thing that matters to you is playing dress up. I'll be on my way to Toke's house in a few minutes... let me know when kabiru gets back from the Market"

"Okay..." onome murmured 

No one really understood her. Everyone she came across, thought she sought attention. Even she thought same until lately when she only thought of killing herself each time the picture of Ben popped up. Was it just her ex's picture? she guessed not. A whole lot of things Contributed to her suicidal thoughts.

Ejiro walked out of the House. She was contemplating whether to drive to Toke's place or not. Walking was another form of exercising they said, she'll walk. Take the shorter route and get there in no time while she burned off some fat.
Onome was her cousin who had relocated to Lagos on the grounds of getting a new job. Along the line, she met a man who promised to change her life. Onome had quit her job in the bank so she could help this man run his business. "Dumb Move" Ejiro had told her.
Onome was so blinded by love she lost herself trying to build a relationship that had no place being built. Three years down the line, the said man had broken off the engagement over some flimsy excuse. Onome still didn't want to accept the rejection, she had pushed harder to make it work until she was faced with a man who'd moved on and left her to nurse her pain.
Despite this heart break, Onome remained a lively soul. An urhobo girl never cries over a man, it'd be unheard of. She had remained strong despite all odds, found another job and moved on - or, so Onome made them think.
Lately, she kept to herself and snapped at every little opportunity. She would talk some sense into her. If she still took that lazy man's betrayal to heart, she'll make her realize how much of a weakling she was.

Onome stood up to shut the door after her aunt. Living in quiet for months was a way for her to escape Questions from others. Ben was her life.  As a school leaver, she had high hopes but pushed her dreams aside to build a man's. Something she totally regrets. 
Right now, she constantly thought of how she'd face her family if they found out the shame she was bringing to them. Ben left her five months ago but she persisted. She didn't want to let go of something she had taken so much time to build, hence, she held on... Ben had kept her as a bedroom fantasy while he groomed a younger girl for marriage. Months into their hide and seek game, (it was so, for others thought they were done) Ben impregnated her and when she raised an alarm, he asked her to abort it. This was the third time She had gone through the horror of being a murderer and right now, she didn't think going down that lane was wise. 
She picked up her phone to call Ben, he wasn't taking her calls, how was she going to take care of a baby and a new job she had just found weeks ago? Everyone had the notion she was strong and she had healed, she wasn't close to Healing. No one knew!

"Aunty onome kabiru is back I want to take a walk you might not meet me at Home"

"Okay. I'll be home shortly"

Onome called Ben yet again. This time, he picked. 

"Onome what is it? Please...let me be. Its over!"

"What do you want me to do about the baby?". Her voice shook

"You can eat it if you so wish"

"That's not fair Ben, I can't do this alone, I can't"

"I'm never having a baby with you... I was told you have evil spirits affecting you I don't want that as a part of my life" Ben spat

"The doctor said I might lose my womb and even life if I go on with this" onome begged

"You see exactly why I can't be with you? Only three abortions and you already have complications"

"It's all your fault! I wanted us to keep the babies you refused" she spat

"That's your business I want nothing to do with it... Get rid of it"

"Why... Why....you are suddenly cold towards me?" She cried

"Well, I'll be getting married in a few weeks I don't want to keep handling you and your issues. Get rid of the baby"

"Ben! I pray you never fi....." The line went off.

Ben had hung up on her! 

Onome! - 30, pregnant for a man who won't identify with her and extremely broke - She had incurred debts by investing in Ben's business some of the people she was owing were coming around for their money.

 Sighing, she scrolled through her phone as she walked mindlessly towards the estate gate. A picture caught her eyes - It was Ben. Taking a picture with some young lady, giving credit for his successes to same lady. She went through the comments on the page...None of his friends acted like they knew her. They were all congratulating him on his new found happiness. Like she wasn't a source of joy? I borrowed to keep his business alive, I quit my job so we could thrive, he dropped me for this girl, Why? Some religious tales of how they were incompatible and how he'd invite problems if he carried on with the relationship. She slowed down. Saw an oncoming vehicle. She walked from the side of the road into the main road. The driver swerved to stop the impact of the accident but couldn't. The car picked  Onome up and threw her into the ditch, hitting her head against the slab whilst at it.

Ejiro who was walking home from Toke's, saw the drama unfold she screamed with other passers by as she saw her niece being hit by an oncoming vehicle....She hurried to rescue Her

"Onome....why....Onome...." She lamented 

"He betrayed me...I want to die... Let me die.." She hiccupped

"Why.....You seemed happy, why take your own life?"  She cried

I wasn't, i tried.... T...e...ll..ing yo..u" she coughed and went silent

Ejiro shook her vigorously 

"o....n.....o...meeeeee" she wailed 


Depression is real... Observe people around you and encourage them to speak up. Do not silence anyone. They need to be heard... Advice anyone you suspect of being depressed to see a psychologist | therapist 



  1. I read the story of that doctor that committed suicide and I thought to my self,depression is real

  2. Some men dey tho why lead a horse tot he river if you won't allow it drink water? So sad

    1. comeformeatyourownrisk25 March 2017 at 14:12

      what is this one writing....mtchw

  3. This girl died for nothing. I'm sorry ain't being insensitive, but this is bull crap. Why die for some lousy man who'd keep living and perpetuating his useless act? Depression may be real, I just don't want to believe someone can't shake out of a heart break.

    1. my dear, that is? this matter tire me. die for one man? she's a waste

    2. Everyone isn't the same we have different tolerance levels my dear